garden therapy

the peas, so sweet and delicious.  the shelling peas - I just wish we'd planted more.  the sugarsnap peas grew way taller (nearing maybe seven feet?) than what I'd given them to climb on (um, about 4.5 feet) and so flump! down they fell.  bent over and full of peas in varying stages of ripeness.

oh the garden.  every morning I make my way out there (usually after plugging in those sparkly lights and making myself a mug of something warm to drink) just to look.  I often mess around a bit, too.  weed here, nibble there.  but mostly I just stand there, or sit on the cinder block 'bench' (lacking a bit in the comfort department, but it works) and quite simply, I stare at the plants.

our lavender has taken off and I am greeted by their beautiful flowers when I go out the back door.  there is a bench (a real one, not made of cinder blocks... although there is a broken board on one side....) next to the herb garden.  sometimes I sit there and pick off a few flowers or leaves.  crush them between my fingers and inhale, or eat them.  or both.  an instant chill pill as good ol' grandmother lavender works her magic.

so far so good with the tomatoes.  there are eight in this bed, six in another, a few on the deck in pots and a couple others tucked away here and there.  it seems with the humidity around here it's only a matter of time before some form of blight or fungus claims the tomatoes, but every year I cross my fingers and take what I can get.  I like to create a sizable buffer zone by overdoing it when I seed the tomatoes.

every garden needs a little smiling planter, right?  one that is all face and chubby legs....

I told her that I liked to play with her fairy house with her, that I didn't have a fairy house when I was a little girl.  she looked at me like that had to be one of the worst things ever and quietly told me, after thinking for a bit, that this one was really for both of us.

salsa verde dreams,

the first carrots pulled,

and thai basil in cinder blocks

the garden is one of my happy places, no doubt.  each year we add a bit more gardening space and watch as the lawn is taken over by some other form of flora (or fauna) and it brings me such joy.  something about getting my hands in the soil and allowing all of my senses to just be, to just take it all in.... it brings such peace and stillness, and quietens my mind.

weekending

this weekend was soft light and backyard flowers
a saturday morning walk to the tailgate market and a visit from my mom
dinner with friends, and much catching up

celebrating papa with pancakes, bacon, and coffee in a special new mug
(it says papa, not pap)

there was gardening, tilling, and planting
fairy house tinkering
planning and scheming

and now, a gentle rain
and a little girl painting at 8:45pm after napping (she never naps) from 5:45-6:45pm
that early morning trip to the coffee shop with mama is to blame, I think
for a few minutes I actually thought maybe it was just going to be a very early night
a resetting of her internal clock, perhaps
ah well~


*weekending with amanda

drumroll please

he opened up the hives a few days ago to take a look~  this is the new hive, already filling up with frames of capped honey and swimming with bees, bees, bees.

one very important bee in particular.  he found her.  among all those thousands and thousands of bees, he found the new queen.  the queen in our other hive came marked with a yellow dot (you can see her in all her royal glory on the cover of this magazine) and so she is fairly easy to spot.  we really weren't sure if we'd find this new queen, and I admit I felt a tad discouraged as we scanned frame after frame and I counted them down in the back of my mind....... but yes ma'am, they reared a beautiful, viable, fertile and lovely queen.

she's the one with the very long abdomen.  the one, perhaps obviously, that he's pointing to.  the big one to the right of his finger is a drone, there are several of them in this picture.  most of them, however, are female worker bees.

and there we have it.  we are officially back to two healthy and thriving hives.

making and listening

the making

::in the kitchen::

*strawberry jam
just two pints this time, but it brings our total so far up to about 16 cups of from-the-backyard strawberry jam
(mine always separates like this when I process it, I think because I leave it pretty chunky... we just stir it up before digging in.)

it would seem the best strawberry-jam-making helpers wear capes (nothing but capes),

and are more than glad to assist with the sticky clean up.

(raspberry jam is up soon, we're watching those bushes and while most branches still end in tight little clusters of greenish unripe berries, we have found two ripe ones.....)

speaking of unripe berries, I had to have a chat with C today about never ever picking unripe blueberries again...... sacrilegious, it is! (though they do look pretty against that bright 'radish' color of her newly painted picnic table, I must say

*granola, from this lovely cookbook (I've now made two things from her book, the other being baked oatmeal, seems I like what she does with oats).  I added a bit of cinnamon and some sesame seeds, and swapped coconut oil for the butter.  it has orange rind in it and I swear that smell takes me right back to christmas baked goods as a child (though I'm quite sure my mother didn't actually bake anything with orange rind?) and memories of my mom pulling those pillsbury cinnamon rolls out of the oven and glazing them with that orange-flavored icing.  can't say I've got a desire to eat one of those now, but oh my gosh the olfactory memory lane...

::for her::

*the newly painted picnic table
*number rods


inspired by this, I started the process of making her own set of montessori-esque number rods a while ago and have finally done it. (okay, some of the rods still need a bit of paint, but they are so close to being finished)  these are a bit different from the traditional montessori material, in color and size, but I am a-okay with that.

::for me::

I've been making changes in our furniture situation, shifting things around in her room, the office, and the dining room.  the wall above the mantle in the dining room is now a chalkboard wall where I plan to write my favorite quotes in chalk-marker.  some of my favorites are listed here.  there are many others that will be dueling for the available space. from winnie-the-pooh to wendell berry to julia child....  quite a mix it will be.

I keep telling myself they aren't just for christmas.  they are christmas lights from december to january, and otherwise they are just..... lights.  sparkly, lovely, cozy lights.  one day maybe I'll actually hang those pictures on the wall.  for now, the plate rail is an eventual-wall-decor catch all.

::outside::

I've been sneaking in *little mini garden beds in the form of cinder blocks and small rock-lined raised beds pouring out of the existing garden space. (I'll do another garden post soon, no doubt.  seems every other post is about the garden)

something else I've been making is *mistakes

mistakes in tadpole rearing, specifically
they were all, all eight of them, doing great for a couple weeks and then they started dropping off
I'm not sure why,
they seemed to be enjoying their chlorine-free water and their cat food and lettuce...
so we were down to three
until today
today when I left their lovely new habitat in the hot sun
(it wasn't in the sun at first, mind you, but I didn't check on them for a while and then, when I did....)


the two that were still completely water bound are no longer
the water was way too warm
ugh
bad tadpole-mama! (but oh, the things I've learned for next time)
but there's one sweet little froggy left, one little amphibian successfully reared and dangit we are letting him/her go in the creek tomorrow (where, yes, s/he may get eaten almost immediately or otherwise perish) and then I can picture him/her happily living out their little froggy life in creekside bliss.

the listening

it's been a big pandora week
who am I kidding, it's nearly always pandora around here
it's been:

natalie macmaster and sam bush&jerry douglas for inspiration
brett dennen
alabama shakes
regina spektor

over time so many of my pandora stations sound alike, surely I could whittle it down a bit
would love to hear others' favorites....


*I am playing along with dawn 

it turns out...

papa has been away for a few days, with a couple more to come.  we've gotten used to his schedule of being gone for 24 hour shifts ten or so times a month, and don't typically change things up on those days, but I've been putting her down in our bed these past few nights.  I am under no illusion that I'm doing this for her.  nope, it's for me.  she'll sleep in her room, usually wake once and call for me, or come into our room and climb into bed with us.  but it turns out that I sleep better, that we both do, when we're together.  close enough to hear her breath, maybe have our toes touching.  far enough to have some room to stretch out myself.

it's a funny thing, sleep.  especially, I think, as the parent of an infant or toddler.  you work to figure it out, to get things to where you want them to be, to where someone out there thinks they 'should' be.....  you struggle, you get cranky and sleep-deprived, they get cranky and sleep-deprived.  sleep, or the lack of it, runs your days for a while.  and most certainly your nights.  you tell yourself if it doesn't get better within x,y, or z amount of time something drastic is going to have to happen.  changes will be made,  dammit.  and then x, y, or z approaches and you're like 'eh, we're getting by, it'll be alright'.  and so it goes.  you're leaning over a co-sleeper in strange yoga-like positions nursing your baby and trying sooo hard to sneak away without waking her, or you're taking her for a walk at 2am because that's what gets her to sleep, or you're bouncing on a yoga ball listening to bob marley while shushing and patting and everything in between....  maybe a little later you're sharing a twin mattress on the floor with her night after night, since it's easier to just stay there than go back and forth a zillion and eight times and who has the energy for that anyway?  you think to yourself that your child is the only one to ever, ever have such poor sleep habits, but then you talk to other mamas and realize that most little ones are like this.  most little ones want to be held and shushed and reassured and soothed.  and that that's okay.  it's more than okay, really.  it's who we are.

and then there you are, 3+ years in and finally feeling like things have hit a turning point and you're getting normal-person amounts of sleep again.  and what do you do?  you realize maybe nothing was ever broken to begin with.  just challenging, so challenging, to navigate gracefully at times.  or at least that's what you tell yourself as you bring your girl in bed with you since you both sleep better that way.  after all.  after all of that.  and you think that's just fine.

a list :: summer projects

now that I'm down to just two days left of working (you know, for money) before summer break starts, (and yes I realize that being able to say that, as a grown-up, means I'm pretty fortunate) I've gotta start thinking about some summer projects.


here's the list rattling around in my mind thus far:

:: learn how to play the violin recently gifted to me by my grandfather.  his father gave it to him, and I'm told it is about 100 years old.  I am more than a bit intimidated by this goal.  mostly because I am gaining on 33 and not, say, 7 or 8, which seems to be the age by which you are supposed to learn to do these kinds of things.  I'm thinking irish-fiddle style is right up my alley...

:: print actual real life copies of photos of Claire and start a photo album

:: work on the small (really small, more like a big fancy puddle, really) pond we have planned for the bottom of the new stone retaining wall

:: make a large painting to hang above our front door, and a sign/painting to put on the coop

:: learn to make cheese and yogurt

:: read.  lots and lots of wonderful books.  I am open to suggestions, by the way.  my usual favorite genres are historical fiction and memoirs, but I'm not stuck on them.

:: take a few (big and small) road trips.  maybe even one all by my very own self.

:: take her on her first backpacking trip (which is also to say my first backpacking trip since I was about 4 months pregnant- been a while)

:: throw in a few car camping trips, some canoeing, and plenty of swimming hole adventures

:: become a morning person, at long last.  like for real and not just every now and then.  I will need cheerleaders, I think.  and extrinsic motivation.  maybe even some rewards.


I'm sure there are other things to add, but for starters, this is already quite ambitious, I'm thinking

weekending

this weekend was:

a friday afternoon visit with friends
Claire on a horse for the first time
holding on all by herself
my brave little horsewoman

the other night she told me, after kissing her, to 'lick the kiss'
I asked why, a bit puzzled
she kindly explained that
"if you lick the kiss you get love, because the love goes in your body and 
blasts out for you.  it is magic"
I'd say that's about right, really.

finding out that a couple of my photos were chosen for the third issue of Kindred and then
being surprised this morning with the news that one of them is actually gracing the cover (!)
honored.  excited.  wheels turning.

mornings starting with strawberry jam on toast
lots of shifting and rearranging of furniture
now her room looks even more grown up

a visit from my mama this morning
she arrived with new handmade creations
a charming fairy duo

watching the two of them
snuggled up together reading Miss Rumphius
feet crossed the same way

leftover cold pizza picnic for two on the kitchen floor this afternoon

potting some little plants gleaned from our drainage swale
ferns, succulents, a shamrock

three more days of work and then
sweet, sweet summertime


*joining amanda at habit of being